Boys' Girl

I am a boys' girl, can't ever remember not being one. I hang out with boy's, I talk like boys and have been accused several times not understanding the word vent. My bestest friend is always a girl, but she hangs out with mostly boys. Most of the time I'm not really liked by other girls, it is assumed that I end up with the guys, that boyfriends cling to me, or because I didn't understand that going to the bathroom is a group activity. I feel left out and defeated go back to my guys sputtering some sorta rhetoric that only makes matters worse, the nicest version of which is something to the effect of they're too much trouble, and my choir says AMEN!.

Time will pass and I will long for sisterhood, for knowledgeable hands in my hair, someone who wants to look in my closet, someone who tells me I look nice before we go out and even "...honestly?....yeah those aren't the jeans for you sweetie". I miss listening for hours about everything her crush did today and wishing I was that open and honest with my feelings that I could utter words like he's adorable, makes my heart jump, gives me butterflies, about someone I was interested in. I get to a place where I really miss and need conversations that start with 'Girl I had to tell you...' and include 'I know girrrllll!' at some point.

Then it seems like one comes along who embodies all that sistahood is, supportive, uplifting, giggly, giving, honoring, and beautiful, and I feel kindred like she's touched a part of me I nearly forgot was there, like maybe I could learn womanship. She's so different from the guys more soft and kind and thought provoking, and soulful and regal and fragile, and yet her fragileness makes her stronger, she breaks and mends and risks it all again, men will crack once or twice and play it safe ever after, for fear of shattering. She immediately makes me want to be better. So to tha sistas who mother me thanks.